Have you ever set a clear intention to do something, but then found ways to stop it happening? If so, that’s a super example of self-sabotage in action.
Self-sabotage is very common. Self-sabotage guarantees that you stay in your current situation, whether this is good or bad for you. It seems more natural to resist this change.
This sabotage is rarely intended. We subconsciously say and do things that make success much less likely. You might accidentally forget to set your alarm cook and be late to an important interview as a result.
Self-sabotage can be challenging to identify, but your friends, family, work colleagues or a life coach can be excellent resources. It’s much easier to spot self-sabotage in others.
In this article, you will learn more about self-sabotage and I’ll reveal 4 ways to get rid of its negative influences.
1. Self-sabotage is a way to avoid change
You might hate your current job, but you know your job and the company policies inside out. You have the respect of your work colleagues and they like you. Familiarity is a form of comfort. A new job brings a lot of uncertainty.
You don’t know whether you’ll enjoy a new job or not. You don’t know whether you’ll like your boss or co-workers. You don’t know how much stress you’ll face. This creates an uncomfortable feeling inside as your mind tries to comprehend this ambiguity.
Sabotaging yourself can keep you in your comfort zone, even if it isn’t very comfortable.
2. Self-sabotage is a form of control.
When an outcome is uncertain or ambiguous, we like to create certainty by failing intentionally. You can ensure the lack of a job offer by being late to your interview. At an unconscious level, this is preferable to suffering from the lack of control that comes from waiting for that phone call after the interview.
Self-sabotage allows you to dictate the outcome, even though it might be negative.
3. The role of self-esteem and attitude.
If your self-esteem or self-worth is low, you might believe that you deserve to fail. This type of self-sabotage is common and it’s also comforting in its own way. Self-sabotage is also a great obstacle to progress and happiness. Repeated failures can ruin anyone’s attitude and cement a new negative belief pattern.
Your 4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage and Lead a New Life
1. Think about how much self-sabotage has cost you in the past.
You’ve probably missed out on a lot because of self-sabotage. Do you make less money, have fewer friends, and live a less fulfilling life because you sabotage yourself? Be aware of how much this has cost you, and you will find that changing this will be easier.
2. Take a look at your past failures.
When you made bad choices, consider your thoughts and self-talk. Were they reasonable? No one is perfect, and you’re bound to make mistakes from time to time. However, when you do something you know is wrong, take note.
I invite you to do this for every “failure” you’ve had. Pay particular attention to your past actions. If you see signs of self-sabotage, ask yourself why you did it. Do you see a pattern?
3. How much has your self-sabotage harmed others?
How have your friends, family and work colleagues been affected? Give yourself compelling reasons to change your behaviour. Write these down and refer to them often.
4. Determine a more appropriate behaviour.
After noticing the times you’ve sabotaged yourself, figure out what you could have done. Take the time to work out what your best course of action would have been. Do this for each instance of self-sabotage you’ve noticed.
Self-sabotage is a defence mechanism. It’s the way your subconscious mind attempts to keep you safe and in control. However, this is at the expense of making any real progress in your life. Stopping this pattern of behaviour requires reflection, honesty, and a little courage.
Examine your life for instances of self-sabotage, make the necessary changes to your behaviour, and enjoy your resulting success and happiness!
To your success